I struggle with National Truth and Reconciliation Day. While I know my thoughts may change over time, my truth right now is I really don’t like this day.
For me personally, partaking in some events on this day can be triggering and traumatic. While I try most always to have a positive outlook, it is a day I know will be sad and heavy. Despite the many well-intentioned events planned and organized throughout the country, it can be a lot to take in.
It is a day where I want to confront the disturbing insincerity of a day set aside for “truth and reconciliation” by a country that continues actions causing harm, denial of basic human rights and racism against Indigenous peoples. It is a day I would honestly prefer to run away from rather than face the reality and sadness of the hard feelings that surface. It is a day where I want to shield and protect our dear Elders from having to relive past traumas.
I recall last year wishing to stand in front of the TV as coverage of an Elder sharing their story from residential school caused visible pain and distress to my mom and other family members as they reflected on their own experiences and trauma. I feel for our warriors (my word for residential school survivors) having to relive past harms on this day. I wish this could be a day to lift this pain, not have it be re-worn.
I think as well of the often-impossible demands on our Indigenous leaders to be here, there and everywhere on this day. Be at this event – can you share words, can you help us, can you be here and speak at this part, can you also do this… and then, those same organizations being really offended if you can’t, or frankly don’t want to attend. Chief, Councillor, Elder, Knowledge-keeper – tell us what you think, what you want. Educate us, but you have to be here at this time and you have a 10-minute window. This is a lot to expect.
The day was created only a few years ago from the 94 Calls to Action of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission. While it should be a day of healing, it can sometimes feel like a raw open wound. It feels one-sided with heavy and unrealistic expectations for Indigenous people to lead. This is where my emotions surface and I feel sad, angry and very confused. I wish this was a day where Indigenous people are only lifted, honoured and celebrated.
I don’t like what feels like the feigned duty of organizations and non-Indigenous governments to host an event on or near this day because it seems like the right thing to do. These events are the worst– to simply “acknowledge” the day and then move on to the next item on their yearly calendar. While there are beautiful, meaningful and impactful events that do occur, there also are those that feel forced and insincere. Those hosting events should truthfully check on what side of the line their event lands. Acknowledging harms of the past without taking action to prevent and address those harms going forward is meaningless.
I guess this is my truth part. Much about this day, to me, feels insincere.
Actions which provide direct support to Indigenous people, through supporting their Nations, their organizations, and their direct needs and priorities go a very long way. This should be the focus of this day, not reliving trauma, not placing unreasonable and unfair expectations on Indigenous peoples to lead a day that is not only theirs to lead. Truth and reconciliation requires building understanding, coming together, working and supporting each other in collaboration and partnership. We are not there.
My intention of sharing my truth here is a plea for patience and understanding, and to remember the potential differing impacts of this day on Indigenous people. We should all use this day as a day of kindness, of respect, of building understanding. While acknowledging the harms of the past and learning from history is important, there is more work needed to directly support health, wellness and healing for Indigenous people and communities and to truly honour the strength and promise of Indigenous resilience.
Tumia Knott, spaləl̕, is a lawyer with First Peoples Law, with a practice focus in Indigenous law and self-determination initiatives, and a member of Kwantlen First Nation.
This article was first published by First Peoples Law on September 27, 2024.
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