Having been born with a disability, my life has been far from easy. I have gone through countless surgeries and other health-related issues as a result of my autoimmune conditions and cerebral palsy.
On October 5, 2024, my life forever changed. I went from being Ms. Kaitlyn Layden to Mrs. Kaitlyn Massey.
Those of you who have followed my activism know that I have been calling for the abolition of the archaic household income policy (aka “Policy 6.1”) for those on social assistance. The province’s household income policy requires that any individuals who are in a marital or conjugal relationship in a household in New Brunswick are considered an economic unit. Therefore, once married, my husband’s income would count for both of us and stop me from receiving government support. As I am living with a disability, and married, my partner is legally forced to become financially responsible for me and all my additional needs, such as life-sustaining medicine.
Now that I work full-time, I have benefits through my employer and no longer need to access social assistance, or the provincial health card known to many social assistance recipients as the “white card.”
I also no longer have home support, and the cost would be too high for my husband and I to afford it. (Most homecare companies charge approximately $30 per hour. I believe the government gets a cheaper deal for those on social assistance.)
I am fortunate to have found a good job and a great partner. But there are many people in New Brunswick who would lose income they need to survive if they were to get married.
My activism to change the policy that discriminates against so many isn’t over. No one should have to choose between financial stability, their safety, mental health, and love. Our decision to get married was not a light one, and sacrifices were made. I do not want anyone to think that because I got married, they can too without losing their benefits.
With election season in full swing, this is our chance to elect a new party into power and make some positive changes for New Brunswick in regards to social programming, healthcare, and affordable housing.
The Higgs government has made it clear that they believe what they’re doing is working and don’t plan on making changes anytime soon. As a disabled Canadian living in New Brunswick, that scares me.
There is still so much work to do in the disability community. There are so many discriminatory policies that need to be overturned. For example, sensitivity training for government and non-government employees and people in the workforce is needed. Together, we can make the world a more inclusive and accepting place for everyone.
My journey
I started working part-time at New Brunswick Community College as a research assistant on May 9, 2022. I was fortunate to get a grant through Working NB that gave me the opportunity to enter the workforce, and then my employer paid the rest of my income.
This was so crucial for me and such a turning point. Working at NBCC allowed me to get into the workforce and tap into my many talents, which hadn’t been fully realized previously because of systemic ableism in the job market.
I have been an advocate for people with disabilities for as long as I can remember. Now, I have the means and resources to positively impact the world. Once my Working NB grant subsidy ended, I was fortunate to get a grant through Accessibility Standards Canada.
I am working on a research project known as Go Barrier Free. This allowed me to have full-time employment as of June 2023, which enabled my partner and I to pursue our dreams and get married.
Before getting married I wanted to become confident in my ability to maintain a full-time job, and to learn how to better manage some of the hardships that come with having a disability. And of course, I wanted to have financial security.
Taking on this milestone in our relationship was not an overnight decision. And it should not be taken lightly. I moved into my own mini home with my partner, where I do not have home care support anymore. Having this new mini home has allowed me to adapt and be more independent, even though it is not completely universally designed.
Having a disability is not easy. I have more independence now, but I still rely on my husband to do the majority of the cooking, taking out the garbage, doing the grocery shopping, etc. Our relationship works well for us, and we complement each other very well. He is very kind, patient, loving, and understanding. I’m social, and humanitarian.
I work with some amazing colleagues and I’m very fortunate to have their support at the college, and be able to bring the unique skills of my disability lens to my work which I believe has helped staff and students.
Some advice for any couple considering embarking on the journey of marriage: make sure you take the time to plan and budget. Weddings can be extremely costly. I would suggest putting money aside each month and making payments where you can. Have your friends and family help as much as possible to make things less expensive.
Most importantly, remember to cherish every moment. There is a lot of planning that goes into having a wedding. But the memories and moments are what you will cherish, looking back on your special day.
Kaitlyn Massey is a disability rights advocate in New Brunswick. The political views expressed in this article are hers and do not represent NB Community College.